Cyanide Sun
by Andromeda2050
Summary: Lillian, a young woman who very recently lost her brother to a hoard of walkers, is trying to survive on her own in a mall in southeast Virginia. She encounters an unlikely ally.
1. Chapter 1

Day 1.

There were actually many days before today. The dead had been walking for a few years now, but this was the first day that Lillian found herself having to go it alone.

It wasn't easy.

With Jason dead, it was really difficult. He had taken care of her all this time, taught her how to survive, but never had it crossed her mind that she was really going to have to put those skills to use without guidance.

She marked a small dot on the wall calendar - it was the last day of November. She and Jason had been reusing the same calendar from three years ago. They just used white-out to erase the old numbers and replace them with the new.

They had made Greenbrier Mall their home a few months after the shit hit the fan. It didn't do much business before the dead walked, so as long as they were quiet, they were killing them in small batches, and keeping their base had been quite manageable.

The area of Virginia they occupied was riddled with the dead on the street, but they practiced plenty of caution when they made food runs. After all, living on the dollar store's snacks in the mall wasn't going to cut it forever.

This was the first day Lillian had to make this trip by herself, and she knew it wasn't going to be easy. Somewhere out there, Jason was a walking corpse, and her worst nightmare would come to fruition if she had to see him like that.

And it would be even worse if she had to be the one to put him down.

From the two-story mall, it was a twenty-minute walk to the grocery store, and that was given if there were no distractions on the way. Lillian armed herself with a pair of war scythes, as well as a decorative dagger at her hip. They might have seemed cheesy at first, but they did well to keep her alive so far, and ultimately, that was all that mattered.

She tried to keep to one side of the main road until there was a clearing that allowed her to cross. It was still a mystery to her what kept the dead roaming around this area if there were so few live occupants to attract them.

Aside from herself and Jason, Lillian hadn't seen anyone else for months.

Now, she felt truly alone in the world, and it was horrifying.

As she rounded the corner of a shopping center, she stealthily drove the blades through the heads of two stragglers. There were more limping about further away - a group of four, it appeared, but unless she absolutely had to, she wouldn't bother.

No sight of Jason. She wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not, to be honest.

Her stomach turned as she crept into the grocery store. Whatever hadn't been picked of the produce smelled horrid. By now, only the canned goods were worth picking, and even those rations were starting to thin out. It may be time to think about traveling the extra fifteen minutes to the next grocery store.

She grabbed what she could carry in two, duffle bags, both draped over her shoulders once they were filled with canned beans, corn, and whatever else she could find. She even shoved in a bag of assorted chocolates just to treat herself. She felt she earned it.

Day 2.

There was no need to make a food run. She stayed close to home, picking off two walkers that had wandered into her territory. One she found lurking in the lingerie store, and she might have found it comical, had her circumstances been different.

The second one was downstairs, hiding in one of the photo booths in the arcade. His putrid hand came reaching out from behind the black curtain, nearly startling the piss out of her. That was quickly resolved when the dragon-adorned knife was plunged through his skull.

Day 3.

She pondered, if even for a whole five minutes, if she should set up a Christmas tree. After she reminded herself that she would have no one to share the holidays with, she decided that it was a ridiculous idea.

Day 4.

Lillian cried. _Hard_. It was all she had the strength to do once the grief finally clawed its way in. She wanted to end it all, be done with it. It could be so easy, but it was a coward's way out, and one thing that never described Jason was cowardly.

She had to keep going, for his sake.

Day 7.

Her energy had been low for the past, few days since her emotional outburst. She tried to distance herself from the walkers while she was in this state. The distraction was bound to get her in trouble, and one slip, and she very well could be done for.

So, instead, she collected a few comforters for a new, makeshift bed. The old sheets were tossed into the arcade room, for the time being. She wasn't ready to take them outside, as she could hear the hungry undead hitting the metal, drop-down door with their bodies.

The restroom was close by, and so Lillian used the sink to clean herself up as best as she could, though the water was uncomfortably chilly.

Day 10.

On the lower floor was where she made her camp. Not in the jewelry shop where her and Jason had stayed in for all that time, but in Unlimited Imports, a shop that specialized in all sorts of cultural knick-knacks, edged weapons, and tapestries. She would pull down the metal gate when she planned on being inside the shop for a while, and though the mall was scarce of walkers on the inside, she wanted to be safe than sorry.

She lit a couple of candles once it started getting dark. She wasn't ready to sleep yet, and so there was no better time than to get some combat practice in. Before the outbreak, Jason taught her some basics in martial arts, and it had done her well so far.

Day 12.

It was time to make another food run. She grabbed her leather jacket that she had _borrowed _from one of the clothing stores and took the back door. It was quiet on this side, which was strange, though one could never really predict what the walkers might do until someone made noise.

She traveled to the grocery store that was further away. She couldn't describe her disappointment once she got there. It was completely scavenged through. She managed to collect a few cans of asparagus, corn, and stewed tomatoes, but she had expected more rations. These would only last her about two weeks.

She went to the store she had been grabbing from, and to her surprise, there were less on the shelves than when she was here last.

Someone else had been there.


	2. Chapter 2

Heading back in the direction of the mall, Lillian's load to carry was significantly lighter than she was used to, and it left her feeling rather defeated. She had arrived in the parking lot much earlier than she had anticipated. However, the sound of a gunshot firing in the distance sent her running at full speed towards the building.

As she rounded the corner, she wasn't prepared for the hoard of undead that were heading towards the noise, and she was right between them.

"Shit," she growled, backing up quickly. She had caught their attention, which meant she had unintentionally diverted them from whoever fired the gun.

She climbed up onto a pickup truck, hoping to give herself some distance from herself and the group. She thought she counted eleven of them, which was far too many for a single person to take at ground level. She sliced a sickle across two heads, then suddenly, another gun shot, followed by another. It was a lot louder this time, and Lillian's first reaction was just to crouch.

However, the man firing the pistol wasn't aiming at her. He was picking off the walkers, charging quickly towards them with a bat in hand now.

Was that...barbed wire wrapped around it?

No questions right now. She was just grateful for the help, and to be honest, to see another face for the first time in nearly two weeks.

"Go!" he yelled at her, gesturing with his arm towards the mall. "I can handle this."

Lillian heard words very similar to this before, but before she could reflect, she saw another group of five rounding a large canister and heading straight for them. She wasn't just going to leave him there.

"No way!" she persisted. She drove the sickle into another walker, then glanced behind her to make sure the stranger could hold his own while she took out the newcomers.

She could hear the baseball bat crushing decaying skulls, and she was confident that he knew what he was doing. Lillian took out another three, and he had joined her to help with the last two.

She huffed for a moment. It had been a while since she took out such a troublesome crowd, but it did get the adrenaline going.

"That felt good," the man said with a grin, but Lillian was still catching her breath.

"Thanks for the help," she answered.

"You could have booked it out while you had that chance, but you stuck around."

"Looked like you needed an extra hand."

"I'm a big boy."

Lillian smiled slightly. "Come on in. Maybe you can find some things you can use out there." As she led the stranger inside, she briefly wondered if he might have been the one that took what was left from the grocery stores. Either way, it wasn't a complete loss. She could try more locations tomorrow.

"Nice little place you got going here. Is it just you?"

Lillian opened her mouth, then paused. She wanted to just spill it all out, but she held back. She had no business whining about all her issues to some guy that she didn't even know.

"It is now."

He walked behind her, but she could tell that while he was propping his bat over his shoulders, he was looking at her curiously, as if he wanted more details. She wasn't sure that she really wanted to entertain him.

"I'm Lillian, by the way."

Good way to change the subject. Very smooth.

"Lillian," he repeated slowly, as if he was testing it. "Do you go by Lily?"

She stiffened a bit, and a lump grew in her throat. She turned around, though still continued to walk in the direction of the broken escalator that would take them up.

"Do it, and you'll have better luck surviving out there than in here."

He seemed more amused than anything else, which was more or less what she was aiming for, but it was her humorous way to tell him no. There was only one person that ever called her Lily, and he was gone now.

"Negan," he said as she turned back around, fluently stepping up the unmoving ramp.

"Where are you from, Negan?" she asked, resorting to smalltalk for the time being. Besides, considering he was the only living thing she had come across since Jason, she wanted to learn everything she could.

"Just a little up north," he answered.

"How did you get to Chesapeake, of all places?"

"Got separated from the herd. Some miscreants on the road that aren't exactly making it easy to get by."

Lillian imagined she had to be pretty fortunate to get by as long as she had here. Somehow, she felt she knew it wasn't going to last forever. As they reached the second floor, she turned around to see him drifting to what used to be a pretzel shop.

"I used to love that place," Lillian murmured, but then she noticed it was a lone walker that had caught his attention. He took it out with a single whack of the bat. "They closed up before...all this."

"You mean, before all the shit hit the fan, and you were lucky if you didn't wake up dead?" Negan said with a chuckle. He seemed like the sort who was constantly in high spirits. Or that it was all just an amusement to him.

"Yeah, that."

She was stiff for a moment, and once she quickly pulled herself together, she stopped in front of Unlimited Imports.

"This hidey-hole is outstanding," she heard him say behind her. "How long have you been keeping this up?"

"Since it all started, I guess." She pulled up the gate, and once they were both in, she closed it back up. It was a sure-fire way to keep the walkers out. After the supply run, she was pretty hungry--

"Shit! The bag... it's still out there."

She couldn't help but feel completely embarrassed, even more so under his amused grin.

"Hauled ass and left behind the goods. It happens." He seemed to notice she was still extremely bothered by her slip-up. "Tell you what, if it's that important, I'll go snag it for you."

Lillian shook her head. "You don't have to do that."

"Stay put," Negan insisted, already pulling the door back up. "I'll be back in two shakes."

Dumbfounded by how unfazed this strange man seemed about the whole situation, she stayed behind. She supposed the least she could do was prep a meal while she waited for him to come back.

And maybe he wouldn't come back. Lillian wouldn't have been too surprised if he grabbed what he needed from the place and split. If that was the case, she wouldn't stop him. She probably wouldn't even be able to if she tried.

Still, with faith that she might be able to trust him, she plopped two cans of cheap spaghetti into a pot and set it over a camping stove. She would only get one more use out of this small, propane tank, which meant she would have to grab another one from her stash in the back room.

The food was hot and ready in about ten minutes, which was about how long it took for them to get here from outside. Negan should have been back by now. Maybe he got held up. She doubted he couldn't handle himself; he seemed like a tough guy. She inhaled, taking some time to prep a second bed by thinning out her own sheets. She could make that sacrifice for one night. Besides, she couldn't imagine she'd be able to get much sleep anyway.

After another ten minutes, Lillian found herself getting nervous. He must have run off. She sighed to herself. _No real surprise. He was kinda cute, too, for an older guy._

She pulled open the door, and as her arms lifted above her head, she shrieked in horror; it was short-lived, once she realized that Negan hadn't actually left. He held out his arms, the bag of food in one, gloved hand, and the bat in the other.

"Hey, it's just me."

Lillian huffed, looking slightly agitated. "Took you long enough. Your food's cold."

It didn't take her long to heat it back up for them, and soon, they were sitting on the ground, feasting on canned spaghetti.

"I got held up, but I'm here to tell you, it was _damn_ worth it."

From the bag, he pulled out a half-emptied flask of Fireball whiskey. Lillian held a confused look for a moment. She only had alcohol once before, back when she had stumbled across a bottle of wine. She had a couple of sips until she realized she hated the taste of merlot.

Something told her it wasn't the best idea, but she felt the need to just...let loose and forget her problems, even if for a few hours. Besides, one swig wasn't going to kill her, was it?

Half way through her serving of pasta, he asked her what she did before the dead started walking. It almost seemed unreal, recalling that there was any sort of life that once existed that wasn't this. Like a dream, kind of.

"I was in my senior year at school," she said. "I was supposed to be in New York. My chorus class was going on a field trip, but I came down with this god-awful flu. Couldn't keep anything down. Jason wouldn't leave my side. He took care of me, even after it all started."

For the first time, Negan, who had taken his second swig from the whiskey, seemed somewhat serious. "I'm guessing Jason is gone."

Lillian was quiet for a minute, then inhaled. With a sigh, she didn't look at him. "He was my brother. More my guardian angel than anything else. He helped me survive, even before this shit."

She felt questioning eyes on her, and as they sat there on the floor of her safe haven, she felt this strange want to just pour out everything she felt. After all, he was practically permitting her to.

"What happened to the rest of your family?"

Lillian grimaced slightly. Her brother was hard enough to recall, let alone the demise of her parents.

"Well, my mom didn't have to suffer this world we live in now," she said, her stomach tightening. Her head felt somewhat fuzzy, but she took another shot from the whiskey flask as it was handed to her. Negan definitely had more than she did, but she imagined he could hold his booze better than she could. "She died giving birth to me."

"Damn... I'm sorry to hear that, Lillian." He sounded sincere.

Trying to shrug it off, she downed what was left of the fireball. Her body cringed and shook from the overwhelming flavor of cinnamon and whiskey, and it felt like something was practically burning a hole in her gut, but she really didn't care.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to be a buzzkill."

"Naw," he said, shaking his head. For once, he didn't have anything witty to say. "I get it. It's hard to live with some things when you never get to vent about them."

She looked at him for a moment, wanting to pry just a bit, but there was no telling how he might respond if she tried. Screw it. She hadn't really talked to anyone aside from her brother, and now that he was gone, she had to try and open up to someone.

"What about you?" she asked. "Did you lose someone?"

"Who hasn't in this shit show?" he asked, and though that pretty much answered her question, she only wanted to know more. She didn't press it, and as she had partially hoped, he continued on his own.

"I had a wife before it all," he said. "Maybe she had it lucky, but then again, I can't really say fighting cancer is easier than fighting those dead pricks."

Wow.

It was silent for a few moments longer as Lillian absorbed this. She and Negan had both lost someone close to them.

"I'm sorry to hear that," Lillian said sincerely. She didn't really know what else to say, but it seemed the man was quick to shrug it off.

"It is what it is," he stretched, and she figured it was time to retire for the evening.

"Get some rest," she insisted. "I'll take first watch."

He gave her a slightly surprised look, then grinned. "Alright, ladies first."


	3. Chapter 3

Negan slept with his barbed-wired bat quite close, which Lillian couldn't exactly blame him. She didn't expect him to trust her immediately, and it was why she elected to keep watch for as long as her eyes would stay open.

There was a chance, she knew, that he could run off with whatever supplies he could carry while she was clearing the grounds, but to be honest, picking a fight with Negan was not on her list of things to do. If he really wanted to steal her things, she would probably let him walk away.

Unless he was walking away with the small amount of antibiotics and other medicine she had. The pharmacies close to her had already been raided of those.

Luckily, she could replenish just about anything else. She had been very fortunate to be in the center of everything she needed, but in the end, it took a lot of work to get this far, and it ultimately cost her brother's life.

Lillian spent a couple of her most alert hours carefully taking out the walkers. As she did, she was swarmed with questions.

How long was he planning on staying? Would he leave the next day? Where was the rest of his group, and how long would it be before they found him? Would he take advantage of what Lillian had here?

She had been taught by her brother that knowing her options was always a good thing, but never to worry too much, because it didn't change anything. Just be prepared.

Once she felt herself getting a bit tired, she returned inside, shut the metal doors, and retreated back to home base. She peaked through the glass windows into the shop. At this point, Negan was awake, which made her feel less guilty about having to make noise to get inside.

"How many did you get?" he asked. At first, she was confused as to what he was referring to, but then she saw him nod to the blade in her hand.

"Oh. I don't usually count. I just...did what I could."

"Well, in a world where you can't count notches on your bedpost, you gotta count _something_ and be proud of it." He stood to his feet, grabbed his jacket, and pulled it on. Lillian snickered a bit. Well, that told her what kind of guy he was, though he had done nothing out of line around her yet.

Then, she asked herself: Would it really be out of line if he _did_ try? He might have been probably twice her age, but he wasn't unattractive.

In fact, she always did find her taste resided in mature men with dark hair and rebellious personalities - namely, the bad guys in movies she used to watch as a kid, before the afflicted came.

"I'm ready to take a stroll," he said. "You look tired, and I'm itching to see what else you've got in this little kingdom of yours."

"Knock yourself out," she said, half-smiling. "I'll see if I can't get a little shut-eye."

"Don't let me stop you."

It was easier said than done.

Having a stranger in her hideout was not the most settling thought, and though he seemed competent enough to help take on the afflicted, his motives were still left to be questioned.

She stared at the ceiling through the darkness, the small bit of light from the battery-operated lamp nearby allowing her very minimal sight.

Like every other night she spent here, especially after Jason died, it was extremely quiet. From the second floor, one wouldn't have been able to hear the walkers below growling and choking.

She recalled a time before all of this, when she and her brother would come here to escape their father. Most of the time, they wouldn't even buy anything, save for lunch in the food court, but they were always entertained. Sometimes, if she saw something she really wanted, he'd secretly get it for her birthday or Christmas, and she would sometimes do the same.

The piano store on the second floor was also another frequent visit. While the shopkeeper wasn't always fond of it, Lillian would play and sing, and even Jason would sing, too, and it would draw a small crowd of listeners. She only did it for fun, though the attention she got was a nice bonus.

After the outbreak, their only audience was the afflicted, but it was useful for drawing them out of hiding. Jason would take them out as she continued to play and sing, and it sort of became a hobby of theirs for a time.

Lillian sighed through the darkness, and she had to force herself to stop reminiscing before it made her hurt inside again. The last thing she needed was Negan to come back and see her crying.

She closed her eyes and tried to focus on something else. Anything else.


	4. Chapter 4

Green eyes slowly opened to a sound that was unfamiliar to her. It was like a series of clicking sounds, all jumbled and with no rhyme or reason. Then, she saw Negan sitting on a stool close by, fiddling skillfully with what appeared to be a sniper rifle, but the orange tip gave away its true identity.

Even still, Lillian knew very little about airsoft guns.

"What's that for?" she said, only able to grasp that he was loading it with plastic ammo.

"This baby is fantastic for taking out those freaks, don't you agree?"

"But it's not a real gun. Is it going to have enough force to take out the afflicted?"

"Over time, I've learned their bones are a lot weaker than ours. 500 feet per second is _more _than enough to kill them in a single headshot."

"Nice," Lillian murmured, relatively impressed. "I'm sure it's a lot quieter than the real deal, too."

"Sure is." Negan grinned, handing it to her. "Let's get some target practice in."

Lillian would show him the roof access, where they would be safest to pick off the walkers. As they reached the top, cool air brushed their faces, but it wasn't nearly as cold as one would expect it to be in December.

Virginia was one of those states where one just had to wait fifteen minutes if they didn't like the weather.

"So, you call them afflicted?"

Lillian looked at Negan as he made the inquiry, and instantly, she laughed a little.

"Yeah, my brother and I decided on the name from a video game I used to watch him play. I know, it sounds silly."

Negan just smiled - oddly enough, it wasn't so much a grin as usual. "Seems like you two were inseparable."

"He was my best friend more than he was my brother a lot of the time," she confessed, watching as the man prepped the rifle. "He stood up for me when...I guess you could say our environment got a little unstable."

"Hm," Negan nodded in understanding. "You said your mom passed when she gave birth to you. If I'm allowed to ask... was your father an issue?"

Lillian swallowed. Her father was more than an issue. After their mother died, he went over the deep end, according to Jason. For a while, he was the victim of drunken abuse and neglect, but eventually, Jason toughened up as he joined the football team at his high school and basically grew a pair. When he began standing up for himself, their father redirected his constant anger and depression on a smaller, weaker target.

Suffice it to say, Jason wasn't going to allow him to bully his little sister, either.

"Yeah, you hit that on the nose."

Negan noticed how she had stiffened for a moment, and he almost seemed to feel awful for even bringing it up.

"Shit," he said. "I'm sorry."

Lillian shrugged it off, looking over the edge of the roof at the small mob of walkers in the parking lot, aimless and currently unaware. "It's fine."

Negan fired the airsoft rifle, then took one more to take down a target.

"So," he said slowly, moving his head back a bit, but still remaining focused on the next target. "What happened to him?"

"Dead."

His brown eyes got bigger and he looked at her, not out of surprise by the news, but by the way she delivered it.

"Goddamn," he said. "No remorse. Was it really that bad?"

"You have no idea."

"No, I don't. My father was always tough, but that was because he didn't want me to get walked on as I got older."

Lillian smiled a bit. "Looks like he did a good job, then."

"And your brother did a good job with you." He smiled back, then looked through the scope of his rifle to focus on the next walker. "This one is for you, Jason."

And, headshot.

"Nice shot."

He handed it to her now, and stepped away so she could crouch where he had. She had never held a gun before in her life, to be honest. Jason had taught her that they were too loud for fighting the afflicted, and so they commonly stuck with edged weapons.

However, Negan seemed more than happy to teach her how to use this quieter alternative, and they had more than enough pellets for her to practice with.

It took a few tries, but once she got her headshot, she was ecstatic. It felt great, maybe even empowering. She kept going, and even Negan was cheering her on as she knocked them down.

"Yes!" He would cheer under his breath. "You're a natural."

They took turns until they ran out of ammunition, and they had to have been up there until about noon. When the sun hit its highest point in the sky, the air was comfortably warm. She almost didn't want to go inside, but it was about time to find something for lunch, and make sure inside of the mall was still safe.

They returned to the hideout, and Lillian prepped some canned, kernel corn for the two of them. After they ate, it was time to make a supply run. While it was still daylight, it was best to get it done now.

It had been a long time since Lillian had a partner with her on a run. It was comforting to not have to do it alone for a change, even if it might not last forever.

They traveled about three miles down the road to locate a pharmacy. It had been quite a maze of broken-down cars and afflicted on the way. Negan had his bat on hand, as well as a knife in the other, and Lillian stuck to her daggers, but she had taken an airsoft pistol - the strongest one she could find - just in case.

Once they finally reached the pharmacy, it was more stocked than either of them anticipated, although still a huge mess. No one would really think to pass through little, old Chesapeake for supplies. Norfolk and Virginia Beach were likely raided through more than this, and so they considered themselves lucky.

While Negan would grab non-perishables, albeit some stale, Lillian went straight for the clinic area in the back of the store, stepping over fallen products and fixtures along the way. As she climbed over the counter, she noted the mess all over the place. Capsules and bottles laid all over the floor and counters, as if someone threw a tantrum and just knocked everything over. Dried blood and the smell of decay confirmed it wasn't quite a tantrum that caused it.

Suddenly, a grip on her pant leg caused her to stumble, and Lillian caught herself on the table as the walker grabbing at her crawled from under the desk, growling in hunger.

"You little shit," she grumbled, grabbing the computer monitor and throwing it into the monster's face. It was enough to crush its skull and free her from its grasp.

There was hardly anything worth snagging from here, and she wasn't able to identify the pills that were like confetti on the ground.

She did grab some elastic bandaging and antibiotic ointment, though it was only a small selection of both.

"Negan, ready to go?"

She hopped back over the counter once she got everything in the bag, but the lack of a reply from the man had her having to search for him.

Then, the sound of shuffling and grunting led her towards the snack aisle, and she hurried as she saw him struggling with two of the afflicted, both piled on top of him, and his weapon several feet out of reach.

She ran over and drove her dagger into one cranium, then the other. Once she helped him to his feet, she huffed a sigh of relief. "You okay?"

"Peachy," he grinned, cooler than a cucumber.

"You didn't get bit, did you?"

"Nah," he picked up his bat and bag of what he gathered, throwing the strap over his leather-clad shoulder.

"You're sure?"

He still had that amused gleam in his eyes as he looked at her. "You can search me, if it makes you feel better."

"Oh, come off it," Lillian scoffed, but the corner of her lip struggled not to lift into a smile. "Let's get a move on."

About two miles into their trek back to the mall, the rain started to fall. It was typical that warmer weather at this time of year brought rain, but it almost seemed to come out of nowhere. The pair kept to the main road so as not to get lost, as well as to keep vehicles between walkers and themselves.

The streets were getting slick from the rainfall, which was falling heavier and heavier as the minutes passed. They had to carefully zig-zag through the city, and soon, the vast parking lot was in view.

They began to cross the street, and a loud clash of thunder stirred the walkers in the area. Lillian looked around, noticing they seemed more alarmed and confused than anything else by the abrupt noise. Unsure of where the noise came from, they waddled aimlessly. She kept going, her body soaked from the downpour. The storm was getting heavier, winds tearing through the area almost like a hurricane.

While the walkers were distracted, Negan and Lillian ran for the mall property. He was bashing one of them through the face when suddenly, a loud, clanging sound came from their right. "Negan!" the girl shouted, but it was too late. Negan hadn't reacted quickly enough as a large sheet of metal debris flew across and struck him in the leg, sending him into the asphalt.


	5. Chapter 5

Blood trickled down his pant leg as he hit the ground, and as Lillian hurried to his side, she heard him growling in pain, his teeth gritted. Again, thunder rolled, and she took his bag to lighten his load.

It really wasn't as bad as it initially looked. It definitely didn't take his leg off, but it did leave quite a nasty gash in it.

She helped him inside, and though he was mostly able to walk on his own, he was wincing with every right step he took.

"Almost there," she muttered as she closed the large, metal door behind them, then the gate. "Can you make it upstairs?"

"Shit. Yeah."

It was only a small struggle, taking the broken escalator up. They just had to take it one step at a time. A trail of trickling blood in their wake, they finally made it to their safe spot and shut the doors.

It was dark now, but once she got a couple of candles lit and pulled him onto a wooden chair, she was able to clean the wound and bandage him up. She noticed just then that the debris had also nicked him on the arm pretty good, too. That explained the blood on her shirt.

She cleaned the wound in his calf to the best of her ability, using a gallon jug of water and following it with the ointment she gathered from the pharmacy.

"Good thing I grabbed these," she said, then unraveled the bandaging to cover his leg. She had a very small supply of oral antibiotics. Hopefully, shr wouldn't have to use them, but she would keep an eye on the wound to see if it would come to it.

"You're lucky you didn't lose your leg."

"I'm lucky I didn't lose a lot of things. Where the hell did that thing come from?"

"Probably a piece of roof from an old building. Let's hope it doesn't turn into tetanus."

Negan was smirking again, leaning back his head as she finished up. "If I had a dime for every injury I've had in my long, fucked-up life..."

"It would do you no good," she said, smiling. "Money is about as useful as a screen door on a submarine these days."

Negan laughed. It was actually quite a hard laugh, too, just enough to make him wince and put his hand towards the smaller gash on his upper arm.

"Here, let me get that."

Lillian helped him get his jacket off, trying not to direct attention to the position and how provocative it might have looked. Her breasts were probably staring him in the face right now, and the fact that she was cold and wet from the rain only made it worse.

"What would I do without you?" he teased, and so far, he was still behaving.

"You made it this far." Suddenly, her foot gave as he knocked his shoe into hers. He caught her, but kore with his lap than his hands. He made it seem like an accident, but she was pretty sure...

"Sorry about that. Just trying to stretch the leg out." His hand was on her back, and she didn't really know if her shudder was a result of that or the chilliness of her body.

"That shit must sting, huh," she said, and she only smiled because she knew he could take it. He was too busy hitting on her now to even notice his injuries.

"Pff," Negan grinned. "This ain't nothing. Besides, I got this hot nurse, and she kicks some _serious_ ass."

Lillian bit her lip.

"Flattery will get you everywhere."

Okay, maybe she shouldn't have said that.

Was this escalating to something more, or was he just teasing? She carefully wrapped the bandage around his arm, her eyes averting from his.

He seemed amused by her response, and for a moment, she thought for sure his grinning lips were coming closer to hers.

"You should take it easy, otherwise you'll ruin the wrapping."

It wasn't that she wanted to cock-block him. She felt she might have jumped the gun a bit when she started flirting, but he grabbed her arm before she could pull herself from his lap.

"The wrapping is the last thing I'm worried about."

Fuck. He knew how to sway her. Before she could give in, a bang on the metal door tore her from the moment.

"Damn afflicted," she muttered, quickly standing up. At her breaking point, a couple of undead mindlessly threw their bodies into the barrier to the room, and Lillian knew they wouldn't let off. They knew there was food inside.

"To be continued," she heard him mutter.

"Stay put," she ordered, grabbing the dagger and throwing up the door. She plunged the blade into one head, then kicked the corpse away to keep it out of the shop. She did the same to the second, then stepped outside to look around. There was no way she was going to let the dead lay there and smell up their hideout.

"I'm going to make sure there's no more afflicted nearby and clean up this mess. You stay here and get some rest, okay?"

"Yes, ma'am." He still came off as flirtatious, at which Lillian couldn't help but smile a bit. She closed the door up for him and began to drag the bodies towards the exit. It was a bit of a chore, but once she got them to the parking lot, she left them to lie in the rain. Usually, she would burn the bodies, but the storm defeated the purpose. She would have to wait.

She grabbed a mop and bucket from the janitorial closet, then filled it with rainwater. The rainfall was still quite heavy, allowing the yellow container to fill quite quickly.

Just as she finished, a small group of afflicted spotted her as they turned a corner, groaning as they slowly waddled her way.

"No today, suckers," she mumbled as she closed up the gate in front of them, and she would haul the bucket and mop upstairs. Once the blood stains were cleaned up from the floor, she sighed heavily, letting the cleaning tools sit outside the shop as she peaked through the window.

Negan was laying on the ground, very obviously asleep. He seemed relaxed, and so Lillian decided to take this time to get herself cleaned up. She grabbed her change of clothes and even a towel from Macy's, picking out a long-sleeve shirt with black and white stripes and a pair of black, stretch pants (she even had the luxury of killing two more walkers while she was shopping). The dollar store had soap, razors, and cheap shampoo, which she also took with her in a bag she grabbed along the way. She returned to the roof top, leaving her clean clothes just inside so as to keep them dry.

The rain, though it was cold, did a good job of washing the blood and dirt from her body. Once she was as clean and shaved, she returned inside with her products, shaking like a leaf until she got herself dried off.

Not having felt this clean in weeks, she still felt wide awake. Her body felt something it hadn't for years, since her high school years, really. Not sure how else to react to it, she went downstairs, grabbing a couple of battery-operated lanterns along the way.

A good, late-night walk might help. She stopped in front of a store - Spencer's, it was called. She knew it too well, and the adult products that were located in the back of the store. She shook her head and kept walking.

Tempting, but she didn't need a vibrator that would make her give in. She needed a distraction to help her resist.

She kept walking. Her trek took her to the piano store - the same one her and Jason would visit all the time. She stepped inside, smiling faintly as she would brush her fingers along the ivory keys of a dusty, grand piano of black. She set the lanterns down - one by the door and one on top of the piano.

Should she take the chance of playing? She would probably attract any stray walkers inside, as it was bound to be loud enough to reach the entire establishment.

She played a key, letting it ring through the air into an echo until silence followed. Then, would play a chord. As it too would fall into quiet, she saw movement in the corner of her eye, just past the light further from her.

"You play?"

Negan didn't sleep very much, did he?

"I used to," she said, putting her hands in her lap. "Since I started doing this on my own, I stopped. I guess...maybe the motivation wasn't there. Plus I would probably draw unwanted attention, you know?"

"Hey," he grinned, raising his arms. He had his barbed-wire bludgeon in hand. "Good thing I came prepared."

"You should be resting."

"I feel like a champ," he insisted. "Besides, you didn't come back, so I wanted to make sure you weren't someone's midnight snack."

"That's so sweet."

"Go on and play," he urged. "I love me some late-night music."

She had to admit, the pressure wasn't helpful, but the encouragement was a little stronger when a part of her felt she could reenact her memories with her brother.

She played a couple more keys, and it didn't take her long to find a song in her mind as a particular note stuck out to her.

At first, it was a little rough. Her hands trembled slightly from the anxiety, but soon, she forgot Negan was even there.

She would play on, and about two minutes in, Negan had locked into a target of two walkers. He bashed their mindless brains in, but even it wasn't enough a distraction to stop her.

Soon, she found her voice.

_"This emptiness I've made my home_

_Embracing memories of dreams long gone_

_One last caress from the corpse of love_

_Is all I want underneath the cyanide sun..."_

She finished her inhale following the chorus, but it was just after that when Negan was beside her again, taking her chin with his hand and kissing her. Lillian didn't have a chance to catch a second breath, and she forced back her head long enough to gasp a little.

Then, like a fish out of water, she jumped right back in. She stood up, her arms winding around the back of his neck. She even welcomed the scruff against her face from his chin as the kiss deepened in fervor.

Suddenly, his hands pulled her up onto the piano, forcing her backside onto the keys. Despite the horrendous sound, Negan skillfully lifted her just enough to pull down the fallboard, then set her back down again.

She didn't realize until now how much she wanted this. He had teased her enough, and perhaps it worked both ways. Now, they were both following through.

She moaned against his lips, pulling off his leather jacket, though reminded herself to be mindful of his injury. Yet, he didn't even seem to notice as he, in turn, pulled off her shirt.

She didn't think it was possible to feel so such a feral _need. _Survival wasn't even as important as this right now.

It was only when Negan was placing hungry kisses along the swell of her breasts that she movement in the darkness past the entrance of the store's entrance. She growled irritably. _Seriously__? You couldn't wait like half an hour to show your ugly face?_

Spotting the airsoft pistol in the holster near Negan's back pocket, she grabbed it and aimed. Once the lone walker was in faint view of the lantern light, she fired. The pellet hit it square between the eyes, as though her sexual frustration had aided her accuracy.

"Where were we?" She laid the gun down on the piano near her, and Negan grinned white.

"We were right here." He pulled her against him, strong hands gripping her thighs. Lillian gasped, her heart racing against her chest as she felt a hardness rubbing against her that couldn't be mistaken.

When he took her, it was pure bliss. They had repositioned to where Negan was sitting on the bench, and with her straddling him, they were left uninterrupted from then on. The sex was absolutely amazing.

But it wasn't worth the future she exchanged when he convinced her to return with him to his base further up north.


	6. Chapter 6

Negan was a very different man when they returned to what he called the Sanctuary. Lillian had no idea what she was in for, and nor did she know that the man she thought she was becoming crazy about had several "wives" lined up for him whenever he needed to get some.

He most certainly had her fooled.

Lillian quickly realized the name of the game. No one was forcing her to stay, but it was either she did, or she would have to take her chances out there.

She almost thought about leaving a couple of days in, but seeing Sherry and the other women as miserable as they were, hating Negan with every fiber of their beings and biting the bullet every time he was in the room... She felt bad for them.

No one was on their side, and all they had was each other. Not even the Saviors showed any sympathy for them.

So, for the time being, Lillian stayed. She felt obligated, feeling she might be the toughest of Negan's wives.

Then, there came the guy with the leather vest. He was a hostage, and though Lillian hadn't been there to see the brutality of their leader, she heard some horror stories - how he pummelled two men's skulls in with his bat of barbed wire and seemed to enjoy it, only to bring this guy back and "break" him mentally into becoming a Savior.

He was a fucking monster. Lillian would have never guessed that he could be such a person back in Chesapeake. Perhaps, she supposed, that was what power did to some people.

One day, Sherry explained to her and the other girls what was being done to the hostage in the cell. Dwight, one of Negan's top boys, would feed him wet, dog food sandwiches and play a song at full blast to deprive him of sleep.

His name was Daryl, Lillian found out, and Sherry was going to find a way to get him out. She must have succeeded, because one day, he was gone from his cell. Very shortly afterwards, she disappeared, and word was that she had been killed as punishment for running away.

Lillian wasn't let in on the details, but there was another scheme she had caught wind on - one that the wives were not including her in, it seemed. Not that she was close to them, but she had hoped to be a bit more included when she was trying to be morally supportive. Their secrecy was driving her crazy.

One night, she crept up to a room that was assigned to one of Negan's newest recruits, Eugene. He had sent three of his wives to _entertain_ him, was what she had heard, but Lillian was convinced something more was at play.

So, the investigation was proven to be necessary when she overheard something about Eugene making suicide pills for one of the wives, Amber. _How fucking mental, _Lillian thought to herself. _These girls can't be that supportive for her to end her life like this, can they?_

Something didn't seem right. Lillian returned to her own room, her head reeling with all sorts of emotions. She may have gotten used to being part of the Saviors, but it was clear that Frankie, Tanya, and Amber had not taken to her company as if she was one of them.

She sat on the bed, clearly perplexed, though her thoughts were quickly interrupted as a knock came at her door. She tensed slightly. Had they known she was eavesdropping? Lillian swallowed, slowly rising from the bed to answer the door. To her very unpleasant surprise, the individual standing on the other side of the door frame was much worse than she had anticipated.

When her "husband" came knocking, there was usually only one thing he was interested in.

Lillian, who learned that being civil was the only way to keep her in his good graces, took a very neutral tone as she greeted him.

"Hello, Negan."

Giving her the typical look of amusement and degradation, he stepped inside, Lucille propped over his leather-clad shoulder. That bat... She learned to absolutely hate it, but fear stood dominant over anything else.

"Lillian," he said with a big smile. "You might be getting ready to lay down, but I couldn't help but notice you're not fitting in well with the other girls."

"Are you here to give me some company?" she asked, partially teasing. He was always in a much better mood when someone in the room had a sense of humor to match his.

"That's exactly what I'm here for."

He stepped through the door, his boots heavy on the wooden floor, even with the rug between. The door closed behind him, and he would set the bludgeon down against the dresser's side.

_Lucky __me, _she thought sarcastically.

"You've been a perfect angel almost the whole time, which is more than what I can say for the others. Amber running off with Mark. Sherry bailing on us and getting her ass killed... But you," he sat down on the foot of the bed, holding his arms out as if to gesture her to come to him, and she did. "You might have given me a little lip in the beginning, but you came around, just like I knew you would."

She didn't say anything. Negan never laid a violent hand on her or the other wives, and because of this, she could say he treated her better than her own father ever did.

That didn't mean she liked him any more. He was still a heinous killer, more of the living than the dead.

"Well, you did bail me out of a mess back at the mall," she played him. "It's the least I can do."

Allowing him to pull her against him, she stood, just staring at the wall over the bedpost. A part of her wondered if she needed to bring up her suspicions about the other girls. She knew Negan would not be pleased to know they were aiding Amber in committing suicide. Something just seemed...off.

She disregarded it almost unwillingly as a hand slid up the small of her back. She inhaled sharply. Her hands gripped his shoulders, not out of displeasure, though she wished she could say differently. Sometimes, she was torn between her fear of him and the excitement of being with such a dangerous man. It was hard to think straight, especially now.

Then, she told herself that he wasn't hers. She believed he might have been back in Chesapeake, but now, she knew differently. She belonged to him, as did other women, and that reminder eased her grip and cleared her head.

Still, she gave him what he wanted. The sex was immaculate, but that didn't make her feel any less disgusted with herself when it was all said and done.

Negan rolled over onto his back with a heavy, satisfied sigh. Meanwhile, Lillian could only focus on the guilt - how revolted she was with herself.

"You look distracted, sweetheart."

Lillian opened her mouth to say something smart, but at first, nothing came out. Dare she tell him she hated him, even though he probably didn't need to be told to know?

Nah. Fuck it.

"Well..." she breathed, looking up at the ceiling. "It's about the three girls you sent to Eugene..."


End file.
